75

Today was the big day..

For the past few weeks my days have been consumed with NCLEX questions, flashcards, lab values, hypocalcemia, hyperkalemia, pharmacology, questions, and more flashcards. My test started at 8 am..well it was supposed to, I actually got started around 8:15 after having my palms and fingerprints scanned, my picture taken, and all my crap shoved into a locker. I was a bag of nerves...what is a side effect of that drug name that I can't pronounce?? Eh, too late now..

The NCLEX felt like I was taking a test in another language. Some questions were obvious to me but the majority of them I just had to guess or narrow it down. Is this really how they determine nursing competency?? The screen turned blue after 75 questions and all I wanted was more time, more questions (easier questions) because I was SURE I failed. It took me 50 minutes to take a test that would determine the fate of my career, a test that allowed us 6 hours to complete. I was done in 50 minutes?? That can't be good.

So I drove home trying to hold back tears...$200 down the damn drain. So I had a bunch of phone calls and texts this morning wishing me good luck and asking how I did..I didn't even want to respond to them. So I came back to my apartment and rushed to my computer to do the Pearson Vue trick..if you don't know what that is you can google it..basically it's a trick that you can use for the NCLEX exam to unofficially determine if you passed or not the day you take the exam. From what I have heard and researched it is pretty accurate so I decided it was worth a shot. Basically you try to reregister for the exam again on the Pearson Vue website and if it allows you to type in your credit card information then you failed and if a pop-up says you are not authorized to register at this time or some kind of bullshit then you PASSED! Well lucky for me, I got the pop-up so I am hoping that is reason to celebrate! Either way me & roomie are going to get 2-for-1 margs tonight and watching grey's anatomy and jersey shore over wine. I will know tomorrow whether I am *officially* an RN or not...we will see!

Oh & p.s. I am STILL unemployed. Anyone want to hire me???

Reject

Well fuck. After all that stuff I said about the oncology job earlier, I got a phone call around 5 today from the nurse manager who basically told me she loved me but she wasn't picking me for the job. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. On a positive note, she said there is a positon opening on BMT (bone marrow transplant) that she highly recommended me for and said she wants me to work at the cancer center and "doesn't want to lose me". I guess I can't be too mad.

I need to go to the gym or get out of the house tomorrow. NCLEX questions are making me question my sanity and I really don't think I can watch another Roseanne rerun. Speaking of Roseanne..I saw an episode today about their youngest son masterbating in the bathroom. Was this stuff really on tv?

Wren

Changes

So I am new to the blogging world. Please forgive me if I am not clever, funny, or at all interesting.

A little background about me...I'm a mother of 2 pugs, newly single, just graduated from nursing school in December, and moved to a new city. Talk about life changes. I am getting adjusted though, which basically means I have been sitting in my apartment watching television and studying for NCLEX but hey, it's a start.

I started this blog because I am starting a new career and am looking for a place to vent/discuss/bitch/cry about work and the ups and downs and ins and outs of life. Although I am still unemployed, I am hopeful that the right job is just around the corner. I have actually been offered two positions..one in a Neuro ICU in a small rural-ish hospital...the other a Med/Surg stepdown unit in a large hospital. Unfortunately, both of these jobs were not in my area...one an hour and a half away and the other an hour away so I declined them both. I applied to these jobs hoping to move with my boyfriend of 4 years, obviously that isn't going to happen now so it was time for a new plan.

I had an interview yesterday in a local teaching hospital in oncology...it's pretty much a new grad job that cross trains in Surgical Oncology, Medical Oncology, and BMT (bone marrow transplant). I had never considered oncology before but the more I have done my research and self-reflecting, I really think this is THE job. It may not seem like it but I really am caring, compassionate, and empathetic. I pride myself in having a really big heart and feel that I could really make a difference in this possible job opportunity. I laugh with the best of them & cry with no shame. I think I will make a damn good oncology nurse...we will see, I have my fingers and toes crossed for this one. Wherever the path leads me I am sure it will be an eventful one.

 Now back to NCLEX studying...7 days until D-day.

Wren